Flash back

Yesterday we went to Tradervics in Madinat Jumeirah, they have the most amazing drinks and a “not so bad” music band. Although we could barely hear each other, a couple of Daiquiris and the table was in such a harmony. Of course there was the star of the nigh, as every night, Soraya , the most beautiful, the most intellectual, the sexiest, the funniest, the meanest of all women, girls and baby-borns, or at least that’s how she perceive herself… Anyway Soraya again started talking about the hottest subject, herself, and this time about her “Alexandrov” night in Beirut where she had a couple of this “legendary” Vodka and she went “bananas” (well, she doesn’t need the Alexandrov for that, but….); she recalled everything in her life and opened all the good and bad memories…

And I remembered: I don’t have memories. It’s not that I don’t remember, but things do not jump to my mind every now and then, I don’t recall things, not even what happened to me last year, nothing. I’m so into now, and I sometimes feel that I have no roots. That’s why I’m thriving to get my memories back; it’s my wealth and legacy…
Have I told you about my friend Michael before? No? I’m so happy for him, I’ll tell you his story later, he‘s finally hooked to the right person after a long story with a Moroccan bitch who drained his brain, heart and pocket. But anyway this is not what I want to talk about in this post…

Michael is Canadian, and once we were talking about TV shows and pop stars of the 80’s. He went talking about sit coms talk shows, songs etc etc…. Well, I couldn’t recognize anybody of whom he was talking about, and he was puzzled how come I don’t know all these “very famous” people. It is true that we grew up in 2 different worlds but I was worried, where were I 17 years back, I had a totally blank memory I felt embarrassed I couldn’t call anything to my mind, what happened at that time who were my “heros”, how was I spending my time…. Nothing I didn't remember. He didn’t give me any clue; I didn’t recognize anybody about whom he was talking.

A few days later, I was watching TV, and here goes Simon Asmar, the very famous pan arab star maker. They were talking about LBC and all the shows he did since its opening. All of a sudden, as if a window’s opened in my mind and I remembered my adolescence, school days, all the shows I used to watch all the things I used to do, I remembered friends, songs, books, I remember my dad and mom, and Walid my little brother, remembered how I used to fight with Othman, I was very aggressive with him (and everybody actually!), how I used to study, to day dream, I remembered my cloths, how I used to do my hair, how many hearts I broke, little tiny mini conspiracies….and I realized that I was alive at that time, a lot of going on’s….
At that time I was very romantic, I was living in the clouds, I used to read like anything, days and nights in books, this was the era of naguib mahfouz, girgi zeidan, Mikhael Naimeh, al moutanabi, Al Jahez…anything and everything Arabic that I come across, and my father’s library helped me a lot, I read it all, and I flew away of my reality to some other worlds where I was the author, the director and the hero…
Then the window was closed, and I’m back to my day to day.

Annousheh said that she only remembers good and bad things, she doesn’t remember the day-to-day things of her adolescence, while Soray every single detail of her life is present with her all the time.

How does a mind function? God it is very difficult to discover: logically speaking I should at least remember good things if we agree that the memory is selective and it tends to eliminate anything that it doesn’t like…. I can’t have bad days all my life and that’s why I don’t recall them, it just can’t be, but I ain’t complaining, I do appreciate my piece of mind, and if I have to remember, I do it, It’s not an amnesia, god forbid!!! I appreciated these flash backs, it was so refreshing, vivid, I felt rich and warm.

And here I am having a flash back of a flash back
Never mind my drivels; I just miss being in love again