I hate him

Why does he have to be so beautiful, why?
Why does he have to have those deep blue eyes that make my heart melt like a fine chocolate in a virgin's mouth, why?
Why does he have to have those spiky, frizzy, blondy hair that I love?
Why does he have to have this hairless firm inviting macho six-pack stomach? Always tanned, always shiny, smooth and silky.

Why dear lord, why did you make him so gorgeous. There is no way I could look at him and not imagining myself plunging in his chest and thawing in his arms. There is no way I could look at him and not forget how he sucks in bed and keeps letting me down and pushing me away again and again and again. God I hate him, no no, I wish I hated him. I hate him, I hate him.

I was running down the aisle to catch Lina at the laundry before she closes for the day. I need a clean uniform for tomorrow and I always suffer with uniforms when I’m doing night shifts. Anyways, I was running down the aisle between the laundry and the cafeteria when he stepped out of the x-ray suite. Gorgeous as ever, when he saw me, he made sure that I hear him talking to Alfred. Doesn't he know that it's over between us? Well for me it's over between us, for him, there were never us. For him, there was his girlfriend, then another girlfriend and another girlfriend, and of course hundreds of girls left right and centre waiting for him everywhere. Stupid me and i thought I was special. But enough three years of deception, it's enough, let him drop dead.
Strange how whenever I pass by, his voice tone goes higher, his steps get slower and he grows 2 inches taller. Why is that? Like a peacock, like a rooster in front of a house of hens he goes bragging around and around. Like an Allan Poe’s poem, like a Da Vinci’s painting, like a Mozart’s piece, he runs into my veins, my blood, my soul. I hate him.

I made sure that he was invisible to me, put my head in the ground, and walked as if I’m alone on the floor. I hardly could make it to lina’s, hid behind her door in the pile of the hanging uniforms and tried to catch my breath. God, please, make me a rock, right here, right now, make me a rock. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.